Pause for a moment. What were you thinking about just now? How did that thought make you feel?
It’s very important that we fully understand the connection between our feelings and the way we feel. Did you know that we are constantly thinking? Take breathing for example. Unless we feel that we are running out of breath, we simply forget that we breathe automatically.
Thinking works the same way. Since we are always doing it, it is easy to forget that it is happening. To think is to create. Everything starts in the mind. What precedes the feeling of anger? Angry thoughts precede anger. Have you tried getting mad without having any thoughts first? Try feeling sad when you don’t have any sad thoughts. It is impossible! To experience a feeling, we must first have the thought that triggers that feeling. Happiness cannot exist alone. It is the result of positive thinking. This simple awareness is the first step in putting us back on the path to find the key to happiness.
We should never underestimate the power of a simple thought. It may seem so innocent and fleeting; yet, it has energy that can cause great impact on our mind, body, and emotions.
Let us think of a lemon. Imagine cutting it in half and smelling it. Now, think about squeezing the juice from the lemon into your mouth and feel those pulp bits bursting inside your mouth. Most of us will surely feel our salivary glands responding to the thought of lemon.
Indeed, what we are thinking can greatly influence our emotions. Think of someone you love. What do you feel? Now think of someone you hate. What do you feel? We do not have to consciously change our emotions – change our thoughts and our emotions will immediately follow. Notice that when we focus our minds on positive things, we feel better, whereas when our thoughts are focused on the negative, we feel bad. Positive thoughts yield positive results. These thoughts make us more loving and caring, resulting to good health, wealth, and happiness. On the other hand, negative thoughts produce negative results. These types of thoughts result to indifference, disease, fear and misery, etc. In other words, our thoughts create our reality. So be aware of what you’re thinking. The next time you feel a little down, stop and consider what you were thinking before that feeling sets in and change it accordingly. It’s not going to happen immediately but with practice, we can control the direction our thoughts take.
Wouldn’t it be great if we can have good thoughts throughout the day?
However, that is just not possible, is it? Those negative thoughts creep in unnoticed throughout the day. Just like a cancer, negative thinking can kill! It can kill and destroy our whole future. Negative thoughts affect the mind, body, and emotions.
Our thoughts produce our feelings. We get angry by having angry thoughts. It is impossible to feel sad without sad thoughts. Unhappiness does not and cannot exist on its own. Unhappiness is a feeling that comes with negative thinking. So how do we get rid of negative thoughts? Stop thinking about them! Our negative feelings are results of our own negative thinking. Apart from refraining to think about negative thoughts, we can turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
One effective technique is to learn a whole new set of happy words. These words encourage positive feelings. Other studies refer to these as “Positive Adjectives List” from The Apache Method (The Antidotal Positive Adjectives Character and Happiness Enhancement Method).
According to this particular study, which is based on Emmet Velton’s classic paper, “There has been a body of research empirically validating our ability to positively or negatively change our moods by reading phrases like “I feel very good” or “I am afraid.”
So, how do we go about dislodging thoughts of unhappiness?
1. Be aware. We have to catch ourselves when we are about to indulge in negative thinking. In the first few days, we have to be very vigilant.
2. The moment we feel the onset of an unpleasant emotion, we have to identify it as precisely as possible. Is it hatred? Hurt? Fear? Anxiety? Discontent? This is a very critical component of the process as related to the next step.
3. Search for the exact opposite of the negative emotion. Think of its antonym. For example, the moment we catch ourselves feeling “lazy,” we would call to mind an opposite adjective like ‘energetic.’ We would then say to ourselves, ‘I feel energetic. ‘ If we see ourselves as “pessimistic”, we say “I am hopeful. ” If we see ourselves as “incompetent’, we say “I feel ingenious.” What do we say if we see ourselves as “unmindful”? We say, “I am grateful. ” Can we use the same strategy even if we are not feeling anything unpleasant? Of course! We are encouraged to think and say to ourselves statements like ‘I feel fabulous’ to reinforce our mood, or statements like ‘I feel strong’ or ‘I feel friendly’ in order to enhance our character. Other people have their own versions of this same technique. Others say it aloud in front of the mirror every morning for ten minutes for twenty-one days. Saying it aloud increases its effectiveness as it represents an emotional involvement. This is the same as saying positive affirmations and doing self-talk. Others think it’s more effective to write the statements on paper, as they become more involved “physically”.
Try it out. It doesn’t matter which way you choose to use. What’s important is that you are aware of the direction your thoughts are taking and change it. You’ll see a brighter, more positive you emerge and well on your way to finding the way to happiness.
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