If you are very lucky, you will go through your management career without ever having to tell one of you team that they are about to lose their job. Regretfully in today’s climate is has become a task that many managers are now having to carry out. Some managers will “delegate” the task to the Human Resources department. But what if you don’t have one – or the organisation has decided that you, the line manager, are the person who must deliver the ultimate “bad news” message?

This is probably the most difficult discussion a manager ever has to have with one of his/her people. Hopefully, this article will help you. But a word of caution – whilst you may gain more confidence and become more effective as a result, we will not pretend that this is a management skill you will ever enjoy. No one does. So here are some points/tips you may like to think about before the meeting.

1. The Emotional Minefield – Yours and Theirs

You are likely to be feeling tense, no doubt nervous about how the other person will respond and perhaps hoping that they will understand your situation. They will run through a gamut of emotions, ranging from;

• Disbelief            – “I can’t believe your telling me this.”
• Despair             – “What  am I going to do in the future?”
• Denial               – “No ….this can’t” be happening!”
• Anger                – “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
• Withdrawal      – “I can’t talk now…. I’m too shocked.”

So be realistic and be prepared. If this news has come like a bolt from the blue, they are more likely to respond emotionally rather than rationally. Allow for behaviour which may not be usual but excusable in the circumstances.

Rule 1: Understand their emotion reaction but do not copy it.

2. The Reason for the Dismissal

Be sure you understand the reason for the dismissal and can defend how and why the decision was reached. In the eyes of the law there are five “fair” reasons for an individual to be dismissed. They are;

• Capability
• Conduct
• Redundancy
• Breaking the Law
• Some other substantial reason – e.g. behaving in a manner which has a detrimental impact on the employer’s reputation

This is the test of “fairness” -there is also the test of “reasonableness”. In other words, was the decision to dismiss reasonable in the circumstances and did you reach the decision by following a recognised procedure which gave the individual the opportunity to put their case forward.

Rule 2: When in doubt –seek advice.

3. The Message You Deliver

Unfortunately this is where many managers go wrong. They are driven by two opposing dilemmas or styles;

• Being “sympathetic” and therefore talking around the subject or using language which clouds the issue in the hope that this will soften the blow

• Being “straight” which can easily be interpreted as blunt and lacking any warmth or understanding

Show some empathy. This means you are able to understand someone’s feelings but do not respond with the same behaviour and emotions they express to you. Sentiments like “I know just how you feel” (unless you too are losing your job) or “this is just as hard for me as it is for you” are unlikely to sound convincing. Phrases which include “de-layering”,”down-sizing” and “significant manpower reduction strategies” are used to try remove the emotional impact of the message. They probably have the opposite effect.

Your message needs to have;

• Clarity – use language that would be understood by a twelve year old child

• Brevity – make it short

• Empathy – put yourself in the other person’s shoes and listen to your own message.

Write the message down and practise delivering it to a colleague, ask for constructive advice and be prepared to take it.

Rule 3: Keep the message simple and listen to it yourself.

4. The Response – How to Cope With It.

Stay emotionally detached – not easy! Allow for an emotional response at the outset –some of it may even be directed at you. Remember they are angry with the decision but you are there in person and it is always easier to be angry with someone rather than at something. Like a pressure cooker, you need to let some steam blow out, not put a lid on it.

The more you can engage with them and get them thinking about the future the better. Many organisations exist to help people cope with job search and the financial advice they will need in the future. Have some suggestions available but do not try to give advice which only a specialist can properly give.

Rule 4: Stay in control – for your benefit and for the person in front of you.

5. Final Thoughts

This is not a task that will ever make you popular. However you will gain a lot of respect if you manage the encounter in a professional and positive manner. It’s what the organisation expects of you and you would expect of yourself – isn’t it?

Rule 5: Stay professional and stay positive

If you want to know more about staying positive just ask Eilidh Milnes –one of the most positive people I have ever met. Contact her on: http://eilidhmilnes.com –you won’t be disappointed.

Technorati Tags: People Development

From discussions I have had with managers when delivering management training courses, it is evident that entering into a “difficult conversation” to discuss a problem is not a task that many relish. Why would they? They find it an uncomfortable experience for themselves, they are nervous about the potential conflict it may lead to and given the choice, it is easier to postpone the  “difficult conversation” in the hope that the issue will somehow resolve itself. Seldom does this happen and often the issue escalates with very unfortunate consequences for both parties.

Having observed managers enter into skills practice sessions (commonly called role-playing), I find that many of them make one fundamental but understandable error. They do most of the talking rather than the person with the behaviour issue.

Many of you will have seen or even experienced this for yourselves. When nervous we tend to talk more, in an attempt to calm ourselves. Silences can be uncomfortable and we will fill that pause with anything rather than suffer it. The more we talk in that situation, the more we have to justify the need to have the “difficult conversation” and the less the individual with the problem is required to discuss it. Think of the number of times you have listened to the nervous salesperson deliver their “sales patter” while you sat in silence making no contribution, but were expected to say yes at the end of the discussion.

Let me offer a solution. Stop talking and stop offering solutions of your own. The person with the behaviour problem is the person who needs to talk about it and ultimately is this person who needs to find the solution – with your help and guidance.

So how do you stop yourself talking? Simple: Ask a question which cannot be answered in one word and then force yourself to listen to the reply. For many out-going “people people” this can be hard. They like interaction and find silences intimidating. So they fill the void, chiefly for their own comfort. So try this little technique, which I have given to several “verbalisers”. Ask your question and silently count to three. As if by magic the other person responds.

Think long and hard about the key question you need to ask. It should a question which causes the other person to reflect about their behaviour and about the consequences of it. Let’s take an example. Suppose you managed someone who is very critical of work colleagues. Try asking them the simple question:

“Why do you find it necessary to be critical of your colleagues?”

The onus is now on them to justify why they do it. While they are talking, do not interrupt. You are not debating, you are there to listen and manage the discussion to achieve an end result that is beneficial for all. The “difficult conversation”  now becomes a “difficult conversation” for the indivudual with the problem. The more questions you can ask, the less pressure you put on yourself to “perform”. Much of what you hear may well be negative self-justification but there may be a grain of validity in what they say.

Now ask for a solution or some options which would lead to a resolution. It is important that they give you the solution rather than you give it to them. Why? – they now own it. People are much more inclined to make their own solution work rather than one you gave them.

So – take the pressure of yourself. Listen more, talk less and manage far more effectively. “Difficult conversations” will never be so difficult again -for you.

Technorati Tags: People Development, Smart Objectives